Just mention two words: “Online Predator” to a parent and be prepared for a full-blown panic attack. Few things are more terrifying than envisioning our kids being recruited for sexual relationships -- and to top it off by some force we cannot even see. Though we can't ever fully protect our kids, this week a study was released that gives parents the critical information that just may help us stop the unthinkable.

The study was conducted by the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. The researchers extensively interviewed 3,000 kids 10 to 17 years old who are Internet users as well as 612 federal, state and local law enforcement officials. The data was analyzed uncovering surprising data that every parent needs to know.

Biggest surprise: These sexual offenders shatter the online-predator mold. For the most part they are not molesters who use deception to assault our kids but instead they target children who are more vulnerable. (Reread that last line carefully. It provides insightful information). Though no child is one hundred percent safe, some children are far more at risk—and ones we need to keep a closer eye on.

Here are some of the highlights from the study and a few recommendations to take a more preventative approach to stopping this horrific crime:

The most vulnerable youth to online predators are those with lower-self esteem. Those predators specifically prey on kids who lack strong identity or have a weaker social network of their own. Those youth most at risk:

Have past histories of sexual or physical abuse

Engage in patterns of risky off- or online behavior

Frequent chatrooms:

-- talk online about sex

-- diverge personal information online

Do not have strong, healthy relationships with their parents

Are boys who are gay or questioning their sexual orientations

The predator looks for kids already vulnerable and then entices them by offering a romantic relationship. At the beginning stage the child sees this online stranger as someone reaching out as a friend and a person the child wants to get to know. The child views the overture as someone offering an adventure (exactly what risk-takers relish) or love (the very thing the child may be missing in his or her own life).

Using those social networks like Facebook or MySpace does not make kids more susceptible to online predators. What does increase a child’s danger: Frequenting chatrooms, giving out personal information and talking online to unknown people about sex.

Here are a few take away points from this important research:

Talk, talk, talk to your child about healthy relationships vs. unhealthy relationships. Then talk again. Kids need to understand the difference between those two.

Watch out for those chatrooms. Tell your child that if you ever walk by that computer and see him cover up that screen, the computer plug will be pulled and he loses the privilege. End of argument.

Set up clear rules about that computer. Here are a few essentials: Your computer must be in a central place where you can touch it at all times. Your child should never, ever give any personal information including name, address, phone number, password, school name, birthdate, town, etc.
Parents, get savvier about that computer. Know how to put up filters and blocks and how to know which sites your child has been frequenting. If you don’t know, sign up for a course or start doing your own Google searches. Stay one step ahead of your child!

Nurture your child's self-esteem and identity. Watch out if your child is having emotional difficulties. And seek the help of a mental health professional. Don't wait. Please. I've written a number of blogs about this one, and it continues to come up as a red flag.

Do know that the more involved you are in your child’s life, the less likely (according to this research) your child will be victimized. These are scarier times to be raising kids, but if we stay a bit more computer savvy, set clear rules about that computer, and more involved in our kids lives we can reduce the online predator risk and our panic attacks.

All the best for you and your family!  

就對父母說四個字：“網絡獵人”，您要做好準備去經受一場重大恐慌事件。 想想我們的孩子要是被色情毒害，很可怕吧？但是有些事情比這更可怕，然后又悄無聲息地結束。盡管我們以前沒能百分百保護好我們的孩子，這周公布的一個研究卻給了我們一些關鍵的信息，也許它能幫助我們去阻止不堪想象的事情。

這項研究由新罕普什爾大學的青少年犯罪研究中心進行的。研究人員大范圍采訪了3000個孩子，他們都是因特網用戶，年齡從10-17歲不等，還有612位聯邦，州級或地方的法律工作人員。研究數據表明的信息資料很令人吃驚，每個父母都有必要了解。

最令人感到意外的是：這些色情罪犯打破了網上捕獵者的模式，因為在很大程度上，他們并不是用詭計去毒害我們孩子的性騷擾者，相反，他們選那些比較弱小，比較容易受傷的孩子作為目標。（再好好讀一遍最后一句話，那里有比較深層次的信息。）雖然沒有一個孩子是百分百安全的，但是有些孩子卻真的處于高危險中----他們也是我們需要關注的孩子。

以下是從研究中提取的的一些重點信息，還有一些對于可怕的罪行，我們該如何采取更有效的預防措施的推薦

在網絡捕獵者的眼中，最容易下手的就是那些自尊心比較弱的孩子。捕獵者尤其喜歡對自尊心差或者自己交際網狹窄的孩子下手。這樣的孩子大多數都處于危險之中：

·受過性虐待和身體虐待
·從事網上、網下各種形式的危險行為（活動）
·經常竄入聊天室：
----網聊有關性的話題
-- --在網上公布個人信息
·和父母的關系不夠親密，牢固
·有同性戀傾向或對自己性取向不明確的男生

捕獵者尋找那些本身就很脆弱的孩子，然后給他們提供一段很浪漫的關系。在開始的時候，孩子們把這位網上的陌生人看作是一個潛在的朋友，一個孩子想要結識的人物。孩子們以為這個人可以給他們帶來奇遇（這恰恰是處于風險中的人的想法）或愛（這正是孩子們在他或她一生中可能錯過的東西）。

社會性網絡，如Facebook或MySpace的使用不沒有增加孩子們被網絡肉食者捕獵的風險，而是經常做客聊天室，發布個人信息以及和陌生人談論有關性的話題時的孩子的危險系數增大。

以下是一些從這個重要的研究中提取的一些觀點：

交流, 交流！和你的孩子多交流一些關于健康的和不健康的關系.然后還是交流。孩子們需要理解而這的區別。

小心那些聊天室。告訴你的孩子，你經過他的電腦旁的時候，如果他遮蓋屏幕的話，你就會拔掉電腦插頭，剝奪他的特權。不過這樣常常以爭吵而告終。

對電腦的似乎用要明確地約法三章。以下是一些要點： 你的電腦必要放在中央位置，以便你隨時都可以用。你的孩子絕對不可以公布任何私人信息，包括姓名，地址，電話號碼，密碼，學校名稱，生日，所在城市等等。

父母，要對電腦有足夠悟性：要知道如何給你的孩子安裝“篩子”和阻礙，要知道如何去獲知你孩子經常訪問的網站。如果你不知道，就去報個學習班或者著手于自己的google搜索引擎。一定要走在孩子的前沿！

塑造你孩子的自尊心和對自我的認識。如果你的孩子情感上有問題，那你可要注意了。. 向專業的心理醫生求助。千萬別無謂地等待！關于這個，我在博客里已經寫了很多文章了，但它依然還是一個值得關注的問題。

你知道嗎？據調查，你融入孩子的生活越多，你的孩子受害的風險就越小。.現在養孩子的不易時期，總讓人提心吊膽。但是如果你對電腦的敏感度高一點，對電腦使用的規定明確一點，融入孩子的生活多一點，網絡捕獵者和恐慌時間就會少一點。