I believe it is important to separate good failures from bad failures. Good failures happen when, even though you made the correct decision, you still lost. Bad failures happen because you made bad decisions, or worse, didn’t make a decision at all. Although the two feel the same, they have a completely different long-term impact.
I’m a novice poker player. One of the first things I learned was that there were good wins and bad wins. Good wins were because you had a sound strategy of betting where the odds were in your favor. Bad wins happened when you just got lucky. Going all-in on a 2-7 off-suit might win the hand. But it doesn’t mean you’re a good poker player.
Good Failures
Mentally separating good failures from bad failures takes work. Poker is a simple game where the laws of probability are cleanly defined. Real life is a lot messier. It takes more effort to decide which failures were because of a bad decision and which were just the unintended side-effects of the best choice available.
Although it can be difficult to separate the two, there are benefits to making two piles instead of just one. By separating the two types of failures, it is easier to persevere through good failures. It may hurt to have your Business proposal shut down for the fifteenth time, but it isn’t necessarily a bad failure.
By separating the two, you can also avoid more bad failures. If you fail because of laziness, indecision or poor planning, you can quickly correct those in the future. Knowing the difference between good and bad failures keeps you from repeating stupid mistakes.
Types of Good Failures
I’ve found that there are several categories of good failures. These are the kinds of failures you might actually seek out. Since they come from good, not bad, decisions, they are the best way to fail.
1. High Upside, Low Downside
There are many areas of life where the upside is far greater than the downside. When I write an article, it takes about 90 minutes of work. If nobody comments or responds to that post, then I’ve just wasted 90 minutes.
However, if the article becomes popular, it can bring in thousands of visitors to my website. Those thousands of visitors translate into new readers who can get value from the website. In addition, the extra traffic often results in a higher monthly income for me.
Writing blog entries is an example where failure is cheap and winning can be huge. I’d gladly take a dozen or two dozen failures for a big hit. A post that doesn’t get attention is a good failure.
2. Breaking Through Your Limits
The only way you can know your limits are to go past them. Occasionally I’ve committed myself to more work than I can handle. The result is stress and, in extreme cases, complete burnout. Doing more than you can handle on a regular basis is a recipe for a nervous breakdown.
However, if you don’t test those limits and occasionally go past them, you can never improve. You’ll always go slightly below your capacity, never reaching your possible potential. I don’t enjoy an exhausting schedule, but occasionally facing one ensures my productivity muscles stay strong.
3. Embarrassment and Smart Risk-Taking
There are some situations where failures and successes can’t be separated. There is no action that will guarantee you only get success. In these cases, it can be useful to ignore the losses since the wins will make up for it.
Public Speaking is a great example. Any chance you get to speak in public runs you the risk of embarrassment. You might say something stupid. The audience might not like your speech. But if you don’t face those failures, it’s impossible to deliver a fantastic speech.
4. Staying Inside Your Comfort Zone
The only way to have a bad failure is to stay put. If you are constantly experimenting and pushing beyond your daily routine, any result is a good result. Avoiding the things that scare you doesn’t make you safe, it makes you weaker.
Over a year ago I took dance classes. For a self-proclaimed geek, this was definitely a step outside my comfort zone. I loved the class. Even though it was outside of my comfort zone, I had a great time and learned something valuable. This wasn’t a failure, but it just as easily could have been. It’s better to discourage laziness than occasionally stumbling.
5. Taking on Too Big a Challenge
More than a few times I’ve set goals that were nearly impossible to accomplish. I didn’t have enough time to reach the deadline and I had no idea what I was doing. Although setting extremely difficult challenges results in a lot of failures, it keeps you sharp.
The ideal challenge level is where success is possible, but only if you work incredibly hard. Unfortunately, finding this sweet spot means you’ll end up making some goals too hard and others too easy. If you never fail at a big challenge it probably means most of your goals have been set too easy.
Just as there are good and bad failures, there are good and bad wins. I’d rather have a good failure than a bad win. A bad win might feel nice in the short term, but it is damaging over the big picture.
我認(rèn)為辨別良好的失敗與不好的失敗很重要。良好的失敗是指,即使你做了正確的決定卻依然失敗。不好的失敗是因?yàn)槟阕隽隋e(cuò)誤的決定,或更遭的是你根本未做決定。盡管失敗的感覺是一樣的,但兩種失敗的長(zhǎng)期影響完全不同。
我是個(gè)玩撲克的新手。我從撲克上學(xué)到的第一件事是撲克也有好的雙贏和不好的雙贏。好的雙贏是當(dāng)你勝券在握時(shí)有一套很好的賭博策略。不好的雙贏是因?yàn)閮H僅出于運(yùn)氣才能贏。把全部賭注都?jí)涸?-7非同花牌上或許也能贏,但這不意味著你是個(gè)玩撲克的好手。
良好的失敗
在心理上區(qū)分良好的失敗與不好的失敗需要花費(fèi)精力。撲克只是一個(gè)公平法則定義明確的游戲,現(xiàn)實(shí)生活則復(fù)雜得多。判斷哪些失敗是因?yàn)殄e(cuò)誤的決定,哪些失敗僅是正確決策引起的未預(yù)料到的負(fù)面影響需要花更多的精力。
盡管很難區(qū)分這兩種失敗,但將兩者區(qū)分開來有益于混淆一起。通過區(qū)分兩種失敗,我們更能在良好失敗的情況下繼續(xù)堅(jiān)持。如果你的商業(yè)提議被否定了五次肯定會(huì)令你傷心,但這并不一定就是不好的失敗。
通過區(qū)分兩種失敗,我們能避免更多的失敗。如果你是因?yàn)閼卸瑁e(cuò)誤的決定,或是不周全的計(jì)劃而失敗,你可以在以后很快更正。了解良好的失敗與不好的失敗的不同之處可以使我們避免重復(fù)犯愚蠢的錯(cuò)誤。
良好失敗的類型
我發(fā)現(xiàn)良好的失敗有很多種類型。以下是一些你可以準(zhǔn)確的挑出的類型。它們是由于正確而非錯(cuò)誤的決定而產(chǎn)生的,因此他們是最好的失敗方式。
1.高正面影響,低負(fù)面影響
生活中有很多時(shí)候正面影響要比負(fù)面影響大很多。我寫一篇文章,花了九十分鐘時(shí)間。如果沒有人評(píng)論活回復(fù)我的文章,這九十分鐘就是浪費(fèi)了。
然而,如果這篇文章變得流行起來,它可以為我的網(wǎng)站帶來數(shù)以千計(jì)的來訪者。這些數(shù)以千計(jì)的來訪者會(huì)成為新的讀者,從網(wǎng)站獲得價(jià)值。而這些來訪也能為我?guī)砀叩脑率杖搿?/p>
撰寫博客條目就是一個(gè)例子,失敗很廉價(jià)而成功的盈利則是巨大的。我很樂于接收屢次失敗來獲得一次巨大的成功。一次不引人注目的發(fā)表是一次良好的失敗。
2.挑戰(zhàn)你的極限
知道自己極限的唯一方法是超越極限。有時(shí)候,我會(huì)讓自己承受超過我所能處理的更多的工作。其結(jié)果就是感受到壓力,在一些極端的情況時(shí),會(huì)覺得徹底地精疲力盡。在你正常工作量的基礎(chǔ)上做得更多是治療精神崩潰的一劑良方。
然而,如果你不測(cè)試自己的極限,并且偶爾超過這個(gè)限度,你會(huì)一直無法提高。你的發(fā)揮將會(huì)經(jīng)常在你的極限之下,永遠(yuǎn)無法達(dá)到可能的潛力。我并不喜歡一張令人精疲力盡的時(shí)間表,但偶爾嘗試能保證我的生產(chǎn)力肌肉保持強(qiáng)壯。
3.困窘與聰明的冒險(xiǎn)
在一些情況下,失敗和成功是密不可分的。你無法保證只取得成功。在這些情況下,忽略損失是非常有用的,因?yàn)槌晒?huì)彌補(bǔ)這些損失。
公眾演講就是個(gè)極好的例子。任何一個(gè)在公眾面前演講的機(jī)會(huì)都可能使你陷入尷尬境地。你可能說些愚蠢的事情,觀眾可能不喜歡你的演講。但如果你不面對(duì)這些失敗,你永遠(yuǎn)也無法發(fā)表一次出色的演講。
4.待在你的安逸區(qū)內(nèi)
經(jīng)歷不好的失敗的唯一方式是止步不前。如果你經(jīng)常嘗試打亂你的日程,任何結(jié)果都會(huì)是好結(jié)果。避免嘗試威脅你安全的事情會(huì)削弱你的力量。
一年以前,我參加了舞蹈課程。對(duì)一個(gè)完全不公舞蹈的我來說,這絕對(duì)是超出我能力的一步。我喜歡舞蹈課程。即使超出了我的限度,我很開心而且學(xué)到了一些有用的東西。這并不是一次失敗,但失敗可能隨時(shí)發(fā)生。打擊懶惰總比偶爾絆倒要好。
5.承受太大的挑戰(zhàn)
有很多次,我設(shè)定了一些自己根本無法達(dá)到的目標(biāo)。我并沒有很多時(shí)間一直做到最后期限,也不明白自己到底在做什么。盡管設(shè)定非常困難的挑戰(zhàn)的結(jié)果是一次次的失敗,但它可以使你保持敏銳。
理想的挑戰(zhàn)限度是在接近成功附近,并且你要非常努力地工作。不幸的是,發(fā)現(xiàn)這個(gè)令人歡喜的地方意味著你要結(jié)束制定一些太難或是太易的目標(biāo)。如果你面對(duì)大挑戰(zhàn)時(shí)從不失敗,可能就意味著你設(shè)定的目標(biāo)太容易。
正如失敗有良好和不好之分,雙贏也有良好和不好之分。我情愿嘗試良好的失敗,而非不好的雙贏。不好的雙贏可能短時(shí)間內(nèi)讓人愉快,但在未來就是毀滅性的。