There is a common misperception in the workplace that effective and productive people fit into the go-getter, proactive, or highly organized mold. While it may be true that these people are often rewarded for their seemingly productive ways, their productivity levels are actually well below those of the effective slacker.

    Go-getters are always busy but they only focus on tasks that get noticed by executives. These tasks are usually highly visible but rarely important to the success of the company.

    Proactive types are also always busy but their proactiveness leads to an eventual interference of completing higher priority work.

    Highly organized employees waste their lives away inside Microsoft Project and their FranklinCovey weekly planner.

    On the other hand, the effective slacker quietly performs all the duties required of him perfectly and quickly. An effective slacker always delivers on time, usually because they had it done months ago and made sure no one else was aware. Regardless, the effective slacker is the invisible engine of Fortune 500 corporations. Without them, large organizations are just a large stack of cards waiting to crumble.

    An effective slacker solves problems the easy way. One could argue they are the mathematicians of the workplace. Just as a true mathametician is lazy and searches for the quickest, easiest and most effective way to solve a problem, an effective slacker also spends his very short workday devising the fastest route to the best solution.

    Though rarely promoted or given positive feedback, effective slackers are often paid more than the managers above them due to the company's reliance on their knowledge and efficiency. This large salary is usually unknown among other coworkers who make thousands of dollars less, because they are too focused on attaining a "Senior" prefix in their position title.

    More importantly, an effective slacker has a very low stress level. Their physical presence may be 30-36 hours a week, but actual work time usually hovers between 20-25 hours per week.

    To help others become effective slackers, here are the seven habits of highly effective slackers:

    1. Don't volunteer yourself for anything. Whether a request comes via email or in a meeting, don't ever get yourself involved in something that isn't mandatory. If no one else volunteers, they'll eventually assign someone. Until they do, bank on the fact that a go-getter will jump at the opportunity and fail miserably. Getting yourself into non-mandatory activities only threatens to reduce your free time, or even worse, increase your physical hours at work. The one exception is actual volunteer work. Anything that gets you out of the office is ok in the effective slacker handbook.

    2. Always send emails when making a request to another employee. Others at the office love to schedule 30 - 60 minute meetings to make sure "everything is covered" or to schedule a "kickoff" or "walkthrough" before handing off an "action item" to another employee. Using these tactics ultimately lead to schedules packed with unnecessary meetings. An empty outlook calendar is the true sign of a highly effective slacker. Emails that end with "if you have any questions or concerns feel free to contact me" are basically a legal disclaimer that translate to "I sent it to you. If it doesn't get done and I'm not aware of you not getting it done, or your inability to not get it done, it's your fault, not mine." Many experts disagree and advise personal conversation. 90% of your work does not require personal conversation.

    3. Never inform people that you finish things early. Delivering on time is just as good. There's no reason to be over ambitious. Getting things done early is highly recommended but only for your own advantage. For example, when forced into meetings, try to listen closely during the first portion of the meeting. You can usually clue in on what the "action items" are and complete them before the end of the meeting. Highly organized people will be in charge of determining the timeline for your "deliverables". They are usually completely clueless and they'll give you way too much time to complete the item. When you find out they just gave you three days on an item you already completed, it is highly imperative to keep your mouth shut. Finding out you just received three days to do absolutely nothing is like waking up on Christmas morning as a child and finding Nintendo's Rad Racer under the tree.

    4. Follow the instructions on How to sneak out of the office early （and often）. Not being at work doesn't make you less effective. You already finished everything.

    5. Never skip lunch or eat lunch at your desk. Even eating at the corporate cafeteria is dangerous. Eating lunch at your desk is like landing on Free Parking and not taking the cash in the middle. Your employer is obligated to give you a lunch break. Leave. Staying at your desk could not only result in working during the lunch hour but it may also result in additional afternoon work. The less hours you are present at the office, the less likely you are of obtaining unneeded additional work. Most requests that come during the lunch hour are very low priority items that eventually fall off the map if you're unavailable. If you're feeling lucky, try the 2 hour lunch.

    6. Never allow others to take credit for your work. Go-getters and other related types of employees love to take credit for other people's work. As an incredibly lazy member of your office, you need to ensure that all of your work is credited to you. Your deliverables are all you have because it's the only work you do between the internet browsing and coin flips for cold beverages in the break room. Without your impressive deliverables you are the the guy who takes long lunches and is next in line for being laid off. To prevent go-getters from taking credit for your work, CAP them. Sending a threatening email in all caps is enough to scare most corporate employees from bad behavior.

    7. On especially lazy days, if your office has wifi, book a conference room with other effective slackers （probably your Work Posse） for the entire day. Bring your laptops in and your workday pretty much consists of vulgar conversation, keeping up on incoming emails, and about 4 hours of determining who can throw a paper airplane the furthest on the FlightSimX Paperplane Game.

    在職場(chǎng)，有個(gè)普遍的誤區(qū)，提到高效率、高產(chǎn)出職員的特點(diǎn)，多是精力充沛、渴望成功、積極主動(dòng)，高度組織等。雖然這些人常常會(huì)因這些看似有效率的工作方式而受到褒獎(jiǎng)，但實(shí)際上，他們的生產(chǎn)力水平，遠(yuǎn)低于那些高效的"懶人".

    自告奮勇者總是很忙，但是他們只致力于那些能夠引起主管注意的工作。這些工作往往是明顯的，但對(duì)公司的成功作用很小。

    積極主動(dòng)者也總是忙碌，但他們的積極主動(dòng)最終會(huì)帶給他們更多亟待完成的其他工作。

    喜歡規(guī)劃安排的員工則將他們的生命浪費(fèi)在Microsoft Project和FranklinCovey周計(jì)劃編制軟件上了。

    相反地，高效"懶人"會(huì)迅速、完美、毫無聲息地完成他們承擔(dān)的所有工作職責(zé)。他們總是能按時(shí)上交工作，往往是因?yàn)樵趲讉�(gè)月前就已經(jīng)完成任務(wù)，而不讓其他人知曉。不管怎樣，高效"懶人"是世界五百強(qiáng)公司的暗藏動(dòng)力源，沒有他們，大型企業(yè)或組織，只不過是一大摞將會(huì)散落的紙牌。

    高效"懶人"可以很輕松的處理問題。他們可以稱之為公司的數(shù)學(xué)家。就像一名真正的數(shù)學(xué)家會(huì)很懶，以至他們總是尋找解決問題最快、最簡(jiǎn)潔、最有效的途徑。slacker也是如此，他們能夠利用工作日短短的時(shí)間，想出一條最快的途徑讓問題得到最佳處理。

    雖然"懶人"很少得到職位提升或是給予積極反饋，但他們會(huì)因公司對(duì)其知識(shí)和效率的依賴而給予比經(jīng)理們更高的報(bào)酬。而那些掙得錢比高效"懶人"少數(shù)千美金的同事們，往往對(duì)此毫不知情。因?yàn)樗麄冏硇挠谠诼毞Q前加一個(gè)"重要"的前綴。

    更重要的是，"懶人"的工作壓力小很多。他們一周的出勤時(shí)間可能在30-36小時(shí)，但一周的實(shí)際工作時(shí)間維持在20-25小時(shí)。

    以下有七條高效"懶人"的習(xí)慣，可以幫助你成為和他們一樣的人：

    1. 別自愿做工作。當(dāng)有任務(wù)通過電子郵件或會(huì)議傳來時(shí)，別讓自己插手那些非指定性的工作。如果沒有人自愿去做，那這些任務(wù)自然會(huì)被分配給其他人。堅(jiān)信這個(gè)事實(shí)，當(dāng)工作機(jī)會(huì)出現(xiàn)時(shí)，總會(huì)有自告奮勇的人跳出來，如果他們接手，自然是慘遭失敗。你自己插手這些非指定性工作，只會(huì)減少你的自由時(shí)間，或更遭的是，增加你的實(shí)際工作時(shí)間。不過有一項(xiàng)是例外，那些當(dāng)你下班后所作的真正的義務(wù)工作是被寫入高效"懶人"手冊(cè)的。（譯者注：比如加入譯言翻譯文章，^_^）

    2. 當(dāng)給其他職員發(fā)送任務(wù)請(qǐng)求時(shí)，請(qǐng)使用電子郵件。一些辦公室員工，喜歡時(shí)不時(shí)開個(gè)30-60分鐘的計(jì)劃會(huì)。會(huì)上，他們確保"所有事情已經(jīng)考慮到",或者安排"開干"或"進(jìn)行"的時(shí)間，然后他們才會(huì)將"工作項(xiàng)目"交給其他員工。這些技巧的使用，只會(huì)最終使得計(jì)劃安排充斥著無必要的會(huì)議。一張空的Outlook日歷才是一名的高效"懶人"的本色。以" 如果您有任何問題或疑慮，請(qǐng)隨時(shí)與我聯(lián)系"結(jié)尾的電子郵件，本質(zhì)上是一句免責(zé)聲明，可以理解為"我只是把任務(wù)請(qǐng)求送達(dá)了，我并未告知你不要去做它，而且我并不知道你是否勝任它。如果任務(wù)沒有完成，這是你的錯(cuò)，而不是我的。" 許多專家對(duì)此不以為然，而是建議個(gè)人之間的對(duì)話交流。但你的工作的90%并不需要個(gè)人之間的交談。

    3.絕不要告訴他人你提早完成任務(wù)。按時(shí)上交就足夠好了，不要太過雄心勃勃。當(dāng)然，為了你自己，將任務(wù)提早做完是值得提倡的。例如，當(dāng)被迫參加那些計(jì)劃會(huì)時(shí)，在會(huì)議的第一階段，試著仔細(xì)聆聽。你通常會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)那些"工作項(xiàng)目"的具體內(nèi)容的線索，然后在會(huì)議結(jié)束時(shí)確認(rèn)之。高度組織的人會(huì)負(fù)責(zé)決定你提交任務(wù)所需的時(shí)間表。他們通常完全無法合理安排，并會(huì)給你足夠多的時(shí)間去完成任務(wù)。當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)他們給你三天時(shí)間去完成你早已完成的任務(wù)時(shí)，你必須提醒自己別說漏嘴了。當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)你有三天時(shí)間完全不用做任何工作，那感覺就像是小時(shí)候在圣誕節(jié)早晨醒來，發(fā)現(xiàn)樹下有個(gè)任天堂的"Rad賽車".

    4.按如下說明"如何悄悄早點(diǎn)離開辦公室（并經(jīng)常地）".離開工作并會(huì)使你低效，因?yàn)槟阋呀?jīng)完成了所有任務(wù)。

    5.絕不在午餐時(shí)間工作或者在你的職員桌上吃午餐。即使在公共食堂吃飯也是件危險(xiǎn)的事情。在你自己的桌上吃午餐，就像在所謂的免費(fèi)停車場(chǎng)停車，等到收費(fèi)時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)手上沒現(xiàn)金。你的雇主會(huì)給你午休時(shí)間。當(dāng)你待在自己的位子上時(shí)，不僅會(huì)導(dǎo)致午餐時(shí)間也要工作，還會(huì)引起下午額外的工作。你出現(xiàn)辦公室的時(shí)間越短，得到不情愿的額外工作的機(jī)會(huì)就越少。大多數(shù)午餐時(shí)間發(fā)出的任務(wù)請(qǐng)求，是不緊急的。如果你不在，它們就會(huì)往后順延。如果你覺得運(yùn)氣不錯(cuò)，可以試試2小時(shí)的午餐。

    6.絕不讓他人搶了你的功勞。自告奮勇者和其他類似的職員，喜歡搶他人的功勞。那么像你這樣一位極度"懶散"的職員，就必須確保所做的工作都掛在你名下。因?yàn)槟闵辖坏墓ぷ鳎�便是你在上網(wǎng)沖浪和翻轉(zhuǎn)硬幣去休息室購買冷飲的間隙里所做的所有工作了。如果沒有這些給人留下印象的上交作業(yè)，象你這種午餐可以吃兩小時(shí)的家伙，就等著被解雇吧。要防止那些搶你功勞的家伙，可以寫一份全文大寫的恐嚇信，這應(yīng)該足以鎮(zhèn)住大多數(shù)同事的搶功勞的不良行為了。

    7.在特別懶散的日子里，如果恰好你的辦公室有WIFI無線網(wǎng)絡(luò)，可以跟你的同志們?nèi)�天訂下一間會(huì)議室。帶上你的筆記本，那樣這個(gè)工作日很可能變成這樣：無關(guān)緊要閑扯，處理剛收到的郵件，以及花4小時(shí)的時(shí)間玩FlightSimX紙飛機(jī)游戲以決出誰能將扔飛機(jī)扔得最遠(yuǎn)。