文明禮儀曾經(jīng)是社會(huì)的粘合劑,它使朋友或鄰里之間能夠和睦相處,避免產(chǎn)生摩擦或傷害。
Etiquette used to be the glue that held society together. It enabled people to get on with friends and neighbors without causing offense or harm.
可惜,隨著時(shí)間的流逝大部分的文明禮儀都淡出了人們的視線
Sadly, these days it has mostly gone by the wayside.
以下十條便是那些已徹底退出歷史舞臺的禮儀中佼佼者
This list is of 10 of the best rules of etiquette that have now vanished.
或許通過本文可以讓一些人有所意識,讓這些文明禮儀重獲生機(jī)。
Perhaps it will inspire some to revive them
男士結(jié)婚禮服
Men's Wedding Clothing
在婚禮上,新郎有正確的著裝要遠(yuǎn)比有得體的行為舉止重要得多,故此條位列第十
I have made this item 10 because it is more a case of correct dress rather than manners
首先,如果你的婚禮是在傍晚六點(diǎn)前舉行,那么你就不應(yīng)該選擇穿無尾禮服配黑色或白色領(lǐng)帶
First of all, if your wedding is before 6 in the evening, you should not wear a tuxedo (black tie) or tails (white tie).
最正確的著裝應(yīng)該是選擇正式的西服或英式長尾禮服
You should either wear a formal suit or - if you want to be very proper - a morning suit.
在這里向大家推薦一篇佳作,它介紹了男士在選擇婚禮服飾上應(yīng)遵循的原則
There is an excellent article here that will explain the rules of wedding dress for men
婚禮上新郎要送給在場的每位男士領(lǐng)帶是個(gè)慣例。
It is customary for the groom to give a tie to each of the men in the wedding party.
如果你在婚禮上穿的是英式長尾禮服或正式的西服,那么就該選擇和衣服風(fēng)格相似而不相配的領(lǐng)帶當(dāng)做禮物。
If you are wearing a morning suit or a formal suit, give your wedding party ties that are similar but do not match.
千萬不要弄巧成拙,為了婚禮有統(tǒng)一的格調(diào),最終卻使現(xiàn)場變成個(gè)合唱團(tuán)
You want the party to look similar - but not like members of a choir.
如果你的婚禮是在傍晚六點(diǎn)之后舉行,那么你可以選擇無尾服或燕尾服這類的晚禮服。
If you are getting married after 6pm, you can wear a tuxedo or tails as these are evening clothes.
開門
Opening The Door
過去,紳士總是要為女士開門。
In days gone by, a gentleman would always open doors for ladies
無論這位女士是自己的女伴,還是一個(gè)要進(jìn)樓的陌生人,為女士服務(wù)都是男士的分內(nèi)之事。
Whether it be the lady they were driving, or a stranger entering a building, it was always the done thing
而如今這個(gè)禮節(jié)已幾近消亡,可是這并非全然是男人們的過錯(cuò)
has now almost entirely vanished - and it is not entirely the fault of the men
我曾目睹一些女人嘲笑要為他們開門的男人。這些人似乎混淆了禮貌和沙文主義的內(nèi)涵
I have seen women sneer at men for opening a door for them. They seem to be confusing manners with chauvinism.
我的看法是,建議男士以微笑對嘲笑,并堅(jiān)持替女士開門
My advice in this case is to smile at the sneering lady and open the door anyway.
寫感謝函
Writing Thank-you Notes
在過去人們無論何時(shí)收到禮物都會(huì)盡快回寄一封感謝函
In days gone by, whenever a person received a gift, they would write a thank-you as soon as possible
即使雙方是親戚,也不能免節(jié)
This rule was true even if the giver was a relative
父母會(huì)在某個(gè)生日派對或圣誕派對之后,教孩子們寫人生中第一封感謝函
Parents would sit children down after a birthday or Christmas and coach them in their first thank-you notes.
遺憾的是,贈(zèng)送禮物在現(xiàn)代已非常少見,而回寄感謝函的想法更是為人所不恥。
It is a shame that gift giving has now become a virtual obligation and the idea of a thank-you note would be scoffed at
你可以忽略其他九條禮節(jié),但請至少教會(huì)孩子寫感謝函-這會(huì)讓他們對收到的禮物懷有更大的感激之情。
If you ignore every other item on this list, at least try to teach your children to write thank you notes - they will have a greater appreciation of gifts they receive
適時(shí)離開
Leaving At The Right Time
人們在參加聚會(huì)時(shí),似乎完全喪失了正確的時(shí)間概念
We seem to have completely lost the concept of correct timing when it comes to parties these days.
只有當(dāng)累了、想換個(gè)地方活動(dòng)或酩酊大醉時(shí),人們才會(huì)想要離開,若他們的神智還足夠清醒,留下來的理由是無窮無盡
People leave when they are bored, when they want to go to another party, when they are too drunk, when they are not drunk enough, the excuses are endless
.首先,正常情況下宴席總會(huì)有一位德高望重的客人-通常是出席的最年長的女性。
First of all, a party normally has a guest of honor - this is usually the oldest woman present
以前,在宴會(huì)時(shí)先于貴客離席的行為被視為極端無禮之舉-一旦貴客離開,也就給大家發(fā)出了信號應(yīng)該準(zhǔn)備離席
It was considered extremely rude in the past to leave a party before the guest of honor - and once the guest of honor left, it was a signal to all that they should begin their own preparations to leave.
準(zhǔn)時(shí)出席
Arriving on Time
遲到在過去屬于無禮的代名詞,絕非今天的時(shí)尚
This seemed a fitting item to follow the previous: in the olden days it was rude to arrive late. There was no such thing as being "fashionably late".
如果你受邀參加晚宴,卻遲到了十五分鐘,大多數(shù)情況下,等待你的將是一個(gè)人形單影只地在廚房就餐,淹沒在廚房外熙攘的人群中。只有當(dāng)那些準(zhǔn)時(shí)出席的客人結(jié)束了宴席,或?qū)ν砩系墓?jié)目失去興致,你才可能獲準(zhǔn)加入其中。
In most houses, if you were invited to dinner and turned up 15 minutes late, you would end up eating alone in the kitchen surrounded by the household staff, only to be allowed to join the party when the polite guests (who arrived on time) had finished and were retiring for the evening's entertainment.
晚餐禮儀
Dinner
首先,人們過去習(xí)慣在晚餐時(shí)身著禮服-并且全家都要出席
First of all, people used to dress for dinner - and they would all eat together at the table.
莊重的穿戴是為了強(qiáng)調(diào)家庭和健康食品的重要性
Dressing for dinner emphasized the importance of family and healthy food.
毫無疑問現(xiàn)代家庭習(xí)慣邊看電視邊吃飯,并且每個(gè)家庭成員都有自己的飲食時(shí)間,這也就難怪現(xiàn)代人的體重好象參加比賽一般一路狂增
It is no wonder that now that we scoff food down in front of TV and all eat at different times, that we are becoming fatter as a race
這也是我特別注重這條禮節(jié)的一個(gè)原因。雖然我不會(huì)為了晚餐而特意換裝,但我每天都和家人一起在餐桌前吃晚餐。
This is one area where I try particularly hard to follow the rules. I don't dress for dinner, but I sit with my family every night at the dinner table
我堅(jiān)定地認(rèn)為,全家人一起吃晚餐是建立家庭觀念的好方法。
I strongly recommend it as a good way to build up a good family spirit.
夫妻同心
Parental Unity
子女面前父母永遠(yuǎn)不能意見不合。就是單純的不可以,沒有原因!也不可以幫孩子反對另一方的做法。
[P]arents must never disagree before the children. It simply can't be! Nor can there be an appeal to one parent against the other by a child.
"爸爸讓我去跳井!"
"Father told me to jump down the well!"
"那你必須去做,寶貝兒"這種情況下,母親只能這么回答
"Then you must do it, dear," is the mother's only possible comment
一旦孩子跳下井,她要馬上把孩子拉出來,然后私下找丈夫談話,明確自己對此事的看法,并堅(jiān)定的反對
When the child has "jumped down the well," she may pull him out promptly, and she may in private tell her husband what she thinks about his issuing such orders and stand her own ground against them
任何一對有經(jīng)驗(yàn)的父母都認(rèn)為,一旦夫妻二人同處一屋檐下,就必須達(dá)成意見的統(tǒng)一。
but so long as parents are living under the same roof, that roof must shelter unity of opinion, so far as any witnesses are concerned
多重要的一點(diǎn)啊!我打賭現(xiàn)在再也找不到對這點(diǎn)有深刻認(rèn)同的父母了。
That is how a strong a rule it was! I bet you won't find any parents today who agree strongly with this one.
在外保持警惕
Discretion on the Street
大概這是現(xiàn)代社會(huì)最忽視的一點(diǎn)了。過去,人們外出時(shí)要注意著裝、談吐,絕不做吸引別人眼球之事
This is probably the rule most ignored these days: in the old days, people walking on the street would dress discretely, talk discretely, and never do anything which would draw attention to themselves
親密的朋友之間禁止直呼其名
was forbidden to mention names of friends as it is indiscrete
為了保護(hù)女士不被過往的車輛碰傷,男士總是走在人行道外側(cè)
The gentleman always walked on the road side of the sidewalk - to protect the lady or ladies from passing traffic
人們不可以打量路過的陌生人或與之交談,也不可以在馬路的一邊大聲呼叫在另一邊的朋友
People would not look or talk to strangers passing and would never call out to a friend on the other side of the street.