“The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it.”

- Edward R. Murrow

Note: The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab (great eloquence or skill at flattery).

There will always be people who seem to have the ‘gift of the gab’ — they can talk their way into any job, out of any awkward situation and make others laugh. It seems effortless on their part but there is a lot more for you to know about conversation than you may realize. Talk shows; radio programs; public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words.

It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it’s your mouth that’s doing the work, your brain works extra hard to produce a lot of things you know.

So what better way to start being a more effective communicator than knowing the very person closest to you: yourself.

1. What You Know

Education is all about learning the basics, but to be a confident and effective orator is to practice what you’ve learned.

2. Listening

It’s just as important as asking questions. Practice listening to yourself. Sometimes just by listening to the sound of your own voice you can become more confident in yourself and say the things you believe in with conviction.

3. Humility

We are only too human and therefore we all make mistakes. It’s not uncommon to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means. So don’t be afraid to ask if you’re saying the right word properly and if the audience is unsure about it then you can always make a joke out of it.

4. Eye Contact

It’s important that you keep eye contact when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, as it conveys confidence and ensures your audience does not ignore you.

5. Humor

A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech, especially when the topic is heavy or the speech long. Also if your speech is after several other speakers, the audience may already be half asleep. With humor, you’ll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they’ll feel that you’re just as approachable, and as human as those who listen.

6. Social Interaction

Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You’ll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what makes people the way they are..

7. Me, Myself, and I

Ever sung to yourself in the shower, or bath? By listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech you can help correct the stress areas of your pitch.

8. With a Smile

A smile can say it all very much like eye contact, as long as it’s natural and not forced. There’s no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it’s a funeral. You can better express what you’re saying when you smile and people will warm to you more.

9. A Role Model

There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they’re at a public gathering and whom you have admired. Taking a mental note of how they emphasized what they said and what reaction they got can help you once you take center stage.

10. Preparation

Preparation is everything and will show in your speech. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while others learn the speech verbatim. Just be comfortable with what you know and what works for you.

And that about sums it up. These are only suggestions though and they may seem rather amateurish, but they have helped me in any public or private speaking. It also never hurts to be with people and listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational. Copy from the best.

   “即便是最新型的電腦也只能在速度上調(diào)節(jié)人類關(guān)系的最古老問(wèn)題，最后交流者還是得面臨這一原始問(wèn)題：該說(shuō)些什么？如何說(shuō)出口？”——愛(ài)德華·默羅

注：巧言石是一塊具有歷史意義的石頭。實(shí)際上，它是愛(ài)爾蘭布拉尼城堡的一部分，相傳親吻此石后即變得能說(shuō)會(huì)道（善于花言巧語(yǔ)）。

總有那么一些人似乎“能說(shuō)會(huì)道”- 他們不僅能夠用自己的方式談?wù)撊魏问虑椋瑪[脫任何困境，還總是能夠逗得別人發(fā)笑。

對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)，這一切似乎都來(lái)得不費(fèi)摧毀之力。但是，除了你可能已經(jīng)了解到的會(huì)談要訣外，還有更多有關(guān)會(huì)談方面的知識(shí)是你必須知道的。談話節(jié)目；廣播節(jié)目；公共演講；普通會(huì)話；當(dāng)通過(guò)文字互動(dòng)時(shí)，需要應(yīng)用到一些特定的規(guī)則。

我知道，這聽(tīng)起來(lái)可能會(huì)有點(diǎn)單調(diào)乏味，但是即便只是你的嘴巴在進(jìn)行演講，你的大腦也還是在極為努力地運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)著，在腦海中衍生你所熟知的許多東西。所以，對(duì)于學(xué)習(xí)如何成為一名令人更為印象深刻的交流者來(lái)說(shuō)，還有比了解最接近你的那個(gè)人-你自己本人，來(lái)得更好的方式么？

1. 你知道什么

教育只是學(xué)習(xí)基本知識(shí)。但是，如何成為一名既自信又令人印象深刻的演講者卻是如何將你所學(xué)過(guò)的知識(shí)進(jìn)行實(shí)踐應(yīng)用。

2. 傾聽(tīng)

傾聽(tīng)和發(fā)問(wèn)來(lái)得一樣重要。練習(xí)傾聽(tīng)你自己的聲音。有時(shí)候只要通過(guò)傾聽(tīng)你自己的聲音，你就會(huì)對(duì)自己感到更加自信，并敢于說(shuō)出你自己深信不疑的東西。

3. 謙卑

我們都非圣人，所以我們所有人都會(huì)犯錯(cuò)。我們都會(huì)含糊發(fā)音，說(shuō)話口吃或可能發(fā)錯(cuò)音，即便我們知道這都意味著什么，這些現(xiàn)象都是司空見(jiàn)慣的。所以，請(qǐng)不要害怕詢問(wèn)你是否用適當(dāng)?shù)姆绞秸f(shuō)出了正確的詞語(yǔ)。此外，通常當(dāng)聽(tīng)眾對(duì)這個(gè)詞并不確定時(shí)，你也可以對(duì)此一笑置之。

4. 目光接觸

在會(huì)議或聚會(huì)上同一大群聽(tīng)眾談話時(shí)，必須同聽(tīng)眾保持目光上地接觸，這一點(diǎn)尤為重要。因?yàn)槟抗饨佑|不僅能夠傳達(dá)自信，還能保證你的聽(tīng)眾不會(huì)忽視你。

5. 幽默

進(jìn)行演講時(shí)，特別是當(dāng)演講的主題很是沉重或是演講過(guò)于冗長(zhǎng)時(shí)，一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)小幽默確實(shí)對(duì)提高緊張度或消除討厭的厭惡感具有意想不到的效果。同樣地，如果你是在眾多演講者之后才開(kāi)始演講的話，聽(tīng)眾們可能早已處在半昏睡的狀態(tài)了。但是，只要使用一些小幽默，大部分的聽(tīng)眾將會(huì)對(duì)你的演講給予一定的關(guān)注。此外，他們還將覺(jué)得你同聽(tīng)眾們來(lái)得一樣地平易近人，一樣地人性化。

6. 社會(huì)互動(dòng)

互動(dòng)即為同其他人的交融。你將會(huì)獲得許多的想法。同樣地，你也會(huì)知道究竟是什么讓人們變?yōu)楝F(xiàn)在所見(jiàn)的那個(gè)樣子。

7. 我，我自己/我本人

你曾今在淋浴或洗澡時(shí)對(duì)自己唱過(guò)歌么？練習(xí)演講時(shí)，可通過(guò)傾聽(tīng)自己的聲音幫助你調(diào)節(jié)音調(diào)的強(qiáng)調(diào)部分。

8. 面帶微笑

只要自然并主動(dòng)地微笑，微笑可說(shuō)同目光接觸來(lái)得一樣地舉足輕重。除非是在葬禮上，否則在會(huì)議或是聚會(huì)上沒(méi)有理由一臉痛苦或郁悶。當(dāng)你微笑時(shí)，你不僅能夠更好地表達(dá)你所要說(shuō)的東西，人們也將會(huì)更熱情地回應(yīng)你。

9. 行為榜樣

在你生活中至少得有一個(gè)或兩個(gè)的人可作為你的行為榜樣。這些榜樣必須是你在公共聚會(huì)上見(jiàn)過(guò)他們演講，并且對(duì)他們贊賞有加的人。有意識(shí)地記住他們強(qiáng)調(diào)所要表達(dá)內(nèi)容的方式及他們所做的反應(yīng)。一旦你站上舞臺(tái)中心時(shí)，這這些對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)都是極其有幫助的。

10. 準(zhǔn)備

準(zhǔn)備是一切的基礎(chǔ)。你的演講是否準(zhǔn)備充分，這在演講中將會(huì)體現(xiàn)出來(lái)。有些人習(xí)慣只在索引卡上寫(xiě)下一些綱要，但有些人習(xí)慣逐字逐句地背下演講稿。哪種方式為你熟知，哪種方式對(duì)你有效，你就采用哪種方式吧。

最后就是關(guān)于如何結(jié)束演講。我有一些小小的建議：雖然這些建議看起來(lái)相當(dāng)業(yè)余，但是，不論是在公共還是在私人的演講會(huì)上，它們確實(shí)讓我受益匪淺。同人們進(jìn)行討論并傾聽(tīng)他們?nèi)绾问拐勗捇?會(huì)議變得更為愉快，更具教育意義，這一點(diǎn)有百利而無(wú)一害。效仿最佳做法。